I wrote this in 2007. As you can probably tell, Im not really one for holidays abroad.
I like eating fish and chips on the seafront.
(except for the damn seagulls)
I rarely leave the Island these days. Im happy and content here.
But one day when Iv got more time, Id like to buy a campervan and travel all around the British Isle.

Well here I am in Cyprus, my friend said I should come,
To see her new apartment, near sea and sand and sun.

I’m terrified of flying, I’m scared of pastures new,
I panic on a motorway, In case I need the loo.

‘Your in a state’ she said to me, you need a well earned break,
Now get your stuff together, pack your things and don’t be late.

So that’s exactly what I did, and we flew up towards the sun,
I was flying high above the clouds, my God! I was having fun.

As we touch down on foreign land, I’m excited as can be,
I’ve left behind my job and kids, this week its time for me.

We head up to the mountains, see locals making lace.
Shuttered dwellings, pretty churches, up here it’s a slower pace.

Women wearing black, old men drinking beer.
Skin all wrinkled from the sun, but God’ll save them here.

Down town it’s a different story, shops and bars en mass.
All sorts of nationality’s, all in it for the cash.

Waste land sprouting buildings, apartments on every plot,
Investment, Investment, Investment! Spend your money where its hot.

We ate at local taverners, an array of fine Greek dishes,
Drank Guinness and watched football, in a pub run by the Irish.

We had roast beef in a British bar, cooked by a Bangladeshi,
The polish served us very well, in Burger King and Kentucky.

We spent the day at a posh hotel, lounging round the pool,
Ooo, Ow the other ‘alf live, they’ve really got it all.

Waiters served us cocktails, as we soaked up the Cyprus Sun,
A gourmet meal, alfresco style, the high life’s so much fun

I couldn’t wait to get away, but now I’m back on track
In England the grass is greener, and I get my babies back.